The Nirvana Frequently Asked Questions V4.2

The Nirvana FAQ Everything you always wanted to know and then some... Compiled and updated by Jeff McRae Posted bi-monthly to

Copyright (C) 1995, 1994 by Jeff McRae, all rights reserved. This FAQ may be posted to any USENET newsgroup, on-line service, or BBS as long as it is posted in its entirety and includes this copyright statement. This FAQ may not be distributed for financial gain. This FAQ may not be included in commercial collections or compilations without express permission from the author.

History of FAQ: v1.0 March '94 - The original, only took a few hours to write. v1.1 April '94 - Added some small bits of info and Incesticide info v2.0 April '94 - Added Kurt's death and a few others... v3.0 June '94 - A few minor changes. v3.1 July '94 - Added Kurt vs Axl and Vanity Fair stuff v3.2 Aug '94 - Removed suicide note, added demo list v3.3 Nov '94 - Added a few minor things v4.0 Jan '95 - A few major changes, including full text of suicide note v4.1 Feb '95 - Split the FAQ into 3 parts and an index v4.2 May '95 - Added the Fecal Matter demo info

Without these people, the world would suck eggs: Rick Scaia (for the mailing list), Art Lee (for the discography), Alex Lum (for giving me comments way back when), Liz Ellison (a great source of wisdom), Michael Azerrad (who writes all the pretty books) Everyone who supported, and everyone else who I might have missed Extra Special thanks go out to: Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic, and Dave Grohl

Part 1 of the FAQ

I. Basic Info a. The Band 1. How it all began 2. Other names/drummers/extras and where they are now 3. Current Sketch b. A sum-it-all-up time line

II. The Songs a. What do they all mean? 1. Bleach 2. Nevermind 3. Incesticide 4. In Utero b. Info on the Fecal Matter demo

Part 2 of the FAQ

III. Trivia and Tidbits (stuff to wow your friends with)

IV. Internet Nirvana Resources

V. A nice song list with songs that they've played.

Part 3 of the FAQ

VI. A list of Studio sessions

VII. Stuff that doesn't fit elsewhere a. Krist's internet posts b. Tom Grant's murder theory c. Full text of Kurt Cobain's suicide note

I. The Band

a.1 How it all began - The core of Nirvana formed when Kurt Cobain met Krist (then Chris) Novoselic throught the punk band 'The Melvins'. Since then, they have gone through many different drummers and different names.

a.2 Who they were, and where are they now -

Band Name Who was in it/what did he play Where now? ========= ============================== ========== Fecal Matter Kurt Cobain - Guitar/Vocals Dale Crover - Bass Guitar Greg Hokanson - Drums Mike Dillard - Drums

Brown Cow Buzz Osborne - Bass Guitar The Melvins Dale Crover - Drums The Melvins Kurt Cobain - Guitar/Vocals

Stiff Woodies Krist - Vocals Various Guitar and Bass Kurt - Drums

The Sellouts Steve Newman - Bass Guitar (lost fingers in chainsaw accident) Kurt Cobain - Drums Krist - Guitar/Vocals

??????? Kurt - Guitar/Vocals Krist - Bass Guitar Bob McFadden - Drums

Skid Row Aaron Burckhard - Drums Kurt - Guitar Krist - Bass Guitar Ted Ed Fred } Bliss } Throat Oyster }Same as Skid Row Pen Cap Chew } Windowpane }

Nirvana Aaron Burckhard - Drums Band - Attica Dave Foster - Drums ??? Chad Channing - Drums Band - The Fire Ants Jason Everman - Guitar Band - Mindfunk Danny Peters - Drums Band - Mudhoney Dave Grohl - Drums John Duncan - Guitar Band - The Exploited Pat Smear - Guitar

a.3 Current Sketch - As of right now, there is no more Nirvana, Kurt Cobain committed suicide on or around 4/5/94. Dave Grohl is about to start touring with his new band, the Foo Fighters.

b - The sum-it-all-up time line -

05-16-65 Krist Anthony Novoselic born to Krist and Maria Novoselic 01-31-67 Chad Channing born to Wayne and Burnyce Channing 02-20-67 Kurt Donald Cobain born to Wendy and Donald Cobain 01-14-69 David Eric Grohl born to James and Virginia Grohl ??-??-75 Kurt's parents divorce, Kurt lives with mother 02-??-78 Kurt's father remarries ??-??-79 Krist's family moves to Aberdeen 06-??-80 Krist sent to Croatia for a year to live with relatives 02-20-81 Kurt gets his first guitar ??-??-83 Krist graduates from high school 05-??-84 Kurt's mother remarries to Pat O'Connor 05-??-85 Kurt drops out of high school 01-23-88 Nirvana records demo with Dale Crover 10-30-88 Kurt smashes his first guitar 11-??-88 Love Buzz/Big Cheese single released 02-??-89 After recording Bleach, they do a short west coast tour 06-??-89 Bleach released 06-22-89 The tour for Bleach begins in San Francisco 09-??-89 Make up tour dates due to the loss of Jason ??-??-89 Blew EP recorded 10-20-89 Nirvana plays first European show, Newcastle, England 12-30-89 Krist and Shelli get married in Tacoma 02-??-90 Nirvana begins another short US tour 04-10-90 Highly bootlegged Blind Pig concert 07-11-90 Sliver single recorded 09-??-90 Sliver single released 09-22-90 The Motor Sports show, Dan Peters only show with Nirvana 01-01-91 Studio session: recorded Anuerysm and Even In His Youth 04-17-91 Nirvana first plays Smells Like Teen Spirit 04-30-91 Nirvana formally signs with Geffen Records 05-??-91 Started recording Nevermind 08-??-91 The massive European Tour begins 08-??-91 The video for Smells Like Teen Spirit is made 09-13-91 The release party for Nevermind 09-20-91 Tour for Nevermind begins in Toronto 09-24-91 Nevermind is released, debuted at #144 on Billboard 10-25-91 Kurt and Krist tape interview for Headbangers Ball 11-02-91 European tour for Nevermind begins in Bristol England 11-19-91 Highly bootlegged Rome concert 12-??-91 Short US tour with Pearl Jam and Red Hot Chili Peppers 01-10-92 Nirvana plays in the MTV studios 01-11-92 Nirvana plays Saturday Night Live, Nevermind hits #1 01-??-92 Hormoaning released in Australia and Japan 01-24-92 Nirvana begins a world tour 02-??-92 Come As You Are video is made 02-24-92 Kurt Cobain marries Courtney Love in Waikiki, Hawaii 06-22-92 Kurt collapses in Belfast due to stomach problems 07-21-92 Lithium single released with Nevermind lyric sheet 08-18-92 Francis Bean Cobain is born 08-30-92 Nirvana plays Reading Festival 09-??-92 Nirvana plays Lithium at MTV music awards, wins 2 awards 09-10-92 Nirvana plays 'No-on-9 Benefit' in Portland 11-??-92 In Bloom Video hits MTV 12-15-92 Incesticide released 03-??-93 In Utero recorded in 2 weeks 04-09-93 Nirvana plays a benefit for Bosnian Rape victims 05-??-93 Sliver video hits MTV 07-23-93 Nirvana plays surprise show at New Music Seminar in NYC 09-??-93 Nirvana wins Best Alternative Video award at MTV Video awards 09-14-93 In Utero released in UK 09-19-93 Heart Shaped Box video premieres 09-21-93 After a week delay, In Utero released in US 09-25-93 Nirvana plays Saturday Night Live for a second time 10-10-93 Nirvana begins tour supporting In Utero 11-05-93 Nirvana plays Buffalo, NY (I see them there) 11-18-93 Nirvana records Unplugged session for MTV 12-12-93 All Apologies video hits MTV 12-16-93 Nirvana Unplugged airs on MTV 12-31-93 MTV's New Years Eve special airs, Nirvana headlines 02-06-94 Nirvana begins European Tour in Lisbon, Portugal 03-01-94 The Final Nirvana show is played in Munich 03-04-94 Kurt Cobain is hospitalized comatose 03-05-94 Kurt awakens from coma, asks for milkshake 03-08-94 Kurt leaves hospital under his own power 04-07-94 is created 04-08-94 The body of Kurt Cobain is found. Kurt committed suicide 3 days ago. 04-10-94 Memorial Service held in Seattle, Courtney reads from suicide note. 09-??-94 Nirvana wins Best Alternative Video for Heart-Shaped Box 11-01-94 Nirvana: Unplugged in New York is released in the US 11-15-94 Nirvana: Live! Tonite! Sold Out! is released in US 12-??-94 Courtney Love's PI reports that he believes Kurt was murdered

II. The Songs

DISCLAIMER: These interpretations are taken from interviews with the band and other articles. They are not my opinion of what the songs mean. The songs aren't meant to be deeply analyzed. In an interview Kurt once said that the songs are whatever you want them to mean.

a.1 Bleach

Album produced by Jack Endino, Drums are Chad Channing except where otherwise noted.

Blew (2:53) - The whole song conveys themes of entrapment

Floyd the Barber (2:15) - A song about a small town that goes bad, the title is taken from a character on The Andy Griffith Show. Everyone turns out to be a mass-murderer. The song also shows Freudian castration fears. Drums: Dale Crover

About A Girl (2:46) - A song written for Kurt's girlfriend Tracy, she threatened to kick him out if he didn't get a job.

School (2:40) - A song about the incestous Seattle Scene. The bands seem to resemble high school cliques.

Love Buzz (3:33) - A cover song from the Dutch group Shocking Blue

Paper Cuts (4:04) - Part of the lyrics are based on a true story of a family that Kurt was acquainted with, who locked their children in a room. Other lyrics have to deal with parents, and neglect. Drums: Dale Crover

Negative Creep (2:52) - the first person narrative from an antisocial person

Scoff (4:07) - A song that's directed towards the people who didn't believe in Kurt's musical aspirations

Swap Meet (3:00) - A battle of the sexes put in the background of a Sunday swap meet

Mr. Moustache (3:21) - Speaks out against the stereotypical male macho image

Sifting (5:21) - seems to take on authority figures with it's mention of preachers and teachers

Big Cheese (3:40) - This song is written about Sub Pop man Jonathan Poneman and the pressures he put on the band.

Downer (1:42) - Kurt's attempt at a political song. Drums: Dale Crover

a.2 Nevermind - Produced by Butch Vig, Drums are Dave Grohl on all tracks.

Smells Like Teen Spirit (5:01) - An attack on the apathy of our own generation In Bloom (4:14) - An attack on people who listen to certain music for the wrong reason. Imagine the macho, gun toting guy who sings alone to Nirvana, but has no clue what he's singing about. (This song fits my ex-roommate to a T).

Come As You Are (3:38) - A song full of contradictions on how we act versus how we think society thinks we should act.

Breed (3:03) - Growing up and being trapped by middle class america.

Lithium (4:15) - A first person narrative of a nervous breakdown, or an update of the Marxist description of religion as 'Opiate of the masses'. An ode to disconnection.

Polly (2:54) - Based on the actual kidnapping of a 14 year old girl and her torture.

Territorial Pissings (2:22) - Multi-themed song that attacks macho men.

Drain You (3:44) - A song about (plainly and simply) love. Highly medical theme.

Lounge Act (2:36) - A song about having a certain vision and being smothered by a relationship.

Stay Away (3:31) - An attack on any conformist clique.

On A Plain (3:14) - Many small lines of poetry having multi themes.

Something in the way (3:51) - A song about Kurt's experiences living under a bridge when he was kicked out of home.

Endless, Nameless (6:45) -Previously called 'The Noise Jam'. An experimental song created when one of the takes on Lithium went bad.

a.3 Incesticide -

Dive (3:53) - Produced by: Jack Endino Drums:

Sliver (2:12) -A semi-biographical song about being deserted by your parents Produced by: Jack Endino Drums: Dan Peters

Stain (2:37) - Produced by: Jack Endino Drums: Chad Channing

Been A Son (1:53) -Song about a girl whose parents wanted a boy From: BBC Sessions Drums: Dave Grohl

Turnaround (2:17) -Cover of a Devo song From: Hormoaning Drums: Dave Grohl

Molly's Lips (1:51) -Cover of a Vaselines song From: Hormoaning Drums: Dave Grohl

Son of a Gun (2:47) -Cover of a Vaselines song From: Hormoaning Drums: Dave Grohl

New Wave Polly (1:46) -Faster recording of Nevermind's Polly From: BBC Sessions Drums: Dave Grohl

Beeswax (2:47) -???? From: Kill Rock Stars compilation Drums: Chad Channing

Downer (1:47) -See 'Bleach' From: Bleach Drums: Dale Crover

Mexican Seafood (1:52) -Some people seem to believe this is about a yeast infection From: Teriyaki Asthma compilation Drums: Chad Channing

Hairspray Queen (4:12) -???? Produced by: Jack Endino Drums: Chad Channing

Aero Zeppelin (4:39) -???? Produced by: Jack Endino Drums: Chad Channing

Big Long Now (5:01) -???? Produced by: Jack Endino Drums: Chad Channing

Aneurysm (4:36) -Possibly about shooting heroin From: BBC Sessions Drums: Dave Grohl

a.4 In Utero - Album produced by Steve Albini, all drums by Dave Grohl.

Serve the Servants (3:54) - An autobiographical song about the whole Nirvana experience, the 'witch hunt' on Courtney Love, and a sarcastic response to the emphasis placed on the divorce of Kurt's parents

Scentless Apprentice (3:47) - Based on the novel 'Perfume' by Patrick Suskind, about a perfume maker who kills virgins for their scent.

Heart Shaped Box (4:39) -(You could write a book about this song) Themes of co-dependancy and many other themes.

Rape me (2:49) - In Kurt's words, the song is a sort of poetic justice. A guy rapes a girl. He ends up in jail and is raped there.

Frances Farmer... (4:07) - A song about the story of Frances Farmer, who was declared insane and lobotomized.

Dumb (2:20) - Ignorance is bliss. There is a certain care-free happiness involved in being dumb. Drug related thems dominate the song.

Very Ape (1:55) - An Attack on the stereotypical macho man.

Milk it (3:52) - A song about co-dependancy, it heavily carries the medical theme.

Pennyroyal Tea (3:36) - A song about making a tough decision and the difficult choices around it and the guilt following it. Pennyroyal Tea is an abortive substance.

Radio Friendly Unit Shifter (4:49) - According to Kurt this song is a throwaway. A bunch of random poetry lines thrown together. The title is a reference to 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' and it's slick, radio-friendly sound.

tourette's (1:33) - This song has no meaning at all. Kurt just screamed alot. based on tourette's syndrome, which causes one to shout out obscenities at any time.

All Apologies (3:50) - Contrary to popular belief, this song is not about Francis and Courtney. He wrote it for them, but none of the lyrics really apply.

Gallons of Rubbing Alcohol Flow Through the Strip (7:33) (Import version) -More or less, a poem to words. This is an improv-style song

b. The Fecal Matter demo This is information I've compiled about the infamous Fecal Matter demo.

It has 7 songs... Here are some titles that I've gotten...

Sound of Dentage Bambi Slaughter Laminated Effect Buffy's Pregnant Spank Thru Downer (insturmental) + one more that I don't know the title of

There is a heavy metal-type song w/lyrics like "You said you changed.... Like to do experiments Why are you so mean to me" Buffy's Pregnant goes: "Buffy's pregnant, you'll fit the class/we'll all debate who's got the nicest ass\spreading mindgames etc..... Chorus "Clone(times 5) It has some funny spoken word parts where Kurt impersonates a cheerleader and talks about beating up "punk rock faggots" III. Trivia

There have been 2 other bands called Nirvana, one was a group from the early sixties who had one minor hit, and the other is a Christian band from the early 80's who tried to sue them.

Courtney was married in an old dress of Francis Farmer's

Frances was not named after Francis Farmer, but after a member of the Vaselines. Kurt says he'd wished he'd thought of naming her after Farmer.

Frances's middle name comes from the shape she appeared in a sonogram (bean). A picture of the sonogram appears on the cover of the Lithium single on the left side.

Stay Away was originally called 'Pay To Play' and was recorded at that. A last minute change of taste caused the change. Breed was originally called 'Immodium' based on the medicine that the lead singer of Tad used on one of their European tours.

In Utero went through 2 name changes. It was originally to be called 'I hate myself and want to die' and then later 'Verse-Chorus-Verse'. Both of these are songs from the In Utero sessions.

The pictures in the Incesticide liner are (from l to r): Kurt, Krist, Dave, Dale Crover, Chad Channing, Dan Peters

CD Club Nirvana numbers: Columbia BMG -------- ---

Nevermind 442-046 15600 Incesticide 453-340 00629 In Utero 467-159 90124

The morning of the New Music Seminar 7/23/93, Kurt od'd on heroin, Courtney injected him with an illegal drug used to wake people who've od'd on heroin. He went onstage and performed. No one knew the difference.

The rights for 'Never Fade Away: The Kurt Cobain Story' were sold to Paradigm Talent, who plan to make a movie. Cobain's family prevented Azerrad from selling the rights to his stunning AUTHORIZED biography 'Come As You Are: The Story Of Nirvana'.

Where did the title for Smells Like Teen Spirit come from? the deodorant? One day Kurt and a friend were having a discussion about teenage revolution, they later got drunk and his friend wrote on the wall 'Kurt smells like teen spirit', Kurt was inspired, he thought she meant he would be the type of person who could incite a teen rebellion. He went and wrote the song. She thought that he just smelled like the deodorant. Kurt hadn't heard of the deodorant at the time, he claims to have rarely used it himself.

What about Rape Me? Kurt always insisted that it wasn't aimed at the media, but one line of the song is directed toward the Vanity Fair article and it's author, Lynn Hirschberg. 'My favorite inside source', Lynn claimed to have gotten the info that Courtney did heroin the whole time of her pregnance from 'an inside source'. The song itself is a song of justice (as Kurt put it), A guy rapes a girl, goes to prison, and is raped there.

Is it Kurt, Kurdt, Curt...etc...? It is spelled Kurt, the odd spelling Kurdt came from when they recorded 'Mexican Seafood' for the Teriyaki Asthma compilation. When it came time to make the album, they realized that they didn't know Kurt's name so they got ahold of someone who 'thought they knew' and it went from there. Incidentally, the people at Caroline records (who put out the Teriyaki Asthma compilation) received no money for the appearance of 'Mexican Seafood' on Incesticide because they didn't bother with a contract cuz they didn't didn't make contracts for any bands.

What's the deal between Kurt and Axl? Axl had asked Kurt to join them on their huge tour. Kurt declined. Later Axl asked Kurt to play at his 30th birthday party. Kurt declined.

This is from 'The Advocate' Feb 03 1993. Kurt was asked 2 questions about Guns and Roses. Q: Is there anything about Guns N' Roses' music you like?

A: I can't think of a damn thing. I can't even waste my time on that band, because they're so obviously pathetic and untalented. I used to think that everything in the mainstrteam pop world was crap, but now that some underground bands have been signed with majors, I take Guns N' Roses as more of an offense. I have to look into it more: They're really talentless people, and they write crap music, and they're the most popular rock band on the earth right now. I can't believe it.

Q: Didn't Axl Rose say something nasty to you at the MTV Video Music Awards in September?

A: They actually tried to beat us up. Courtney and I were with the baby in the eating area backstage, and Axl walked by. So Courtney yelled, "Axl! Axl, come over here!" We just wanted to say hi to him--we think he's a joke, but we just wanted to say something to him. So I said, "Will you be the godfather of our child?" I don't know what had happened before that to piss him off, but he took his aggressions out on us and began screaming bloody murder. These were his words: "You shut your bitch up, or I'm taking you down to the pavement." [laughs] Everyone around us just burst out into tears of laughter. She wasn't even saying anything mean, you know? So I turned to Courtney and said, "Shut up, bitch!" And everyone laughed and he left. So I guess I did what he wanted me to do--be a man. [laughs]

Kurt told this story to the crowd at the Portland OR 9/10/92 concert, try to get it if you can.

What went on with the Vanity Fair article? Vaity Fair wrote an article about Courtney and her drug use. They twisted the facts and got the Cobains into a lot of trouble. Kurt was asked 2 questions about it. Once again this is taken from 'The Advocate' Feb 03 1994. Kurt: I've never read an article that was more convincing yet more ridiculous in my life. Everybody from our record label to our management to our closest friends believed that shit. She [Hirschberg] did a really good job of taking a piece of what Courtney had said and turning it into something completely different. I've seen that happen before--it's happened with me alot of times--but this was such an extreme and done so well that I have to give her credit. She's a master at being catty.

Q: What about the drug use?

A: Courtney was honest about the heroin excursion we went on for a few months. Then Courtney found herself pregnant, realized she was pregnant and had a drug problem, and got off drugs. It's as simple as that. But it made it look like eight months after the fact, Courtney was still nine months pregnant and still doing drugs and everyone was really concerned. Like there was some awful den of iniquity going on in our apartment. I looked really skinny. Well, I am a skinny person, and I gain ten pounds every time I'm photographed, so peopel assume I'm this chunky, normal weight person. I'm just so tired of talking about this. We have to live with the resuslts of this one article every fucking day. It's something we have to deal with all the time.

The results of thie article were that there was an investigation into the Cobains that resulted in Francis being taken away for some time (Courtney's sister took care of her). They finally got custody back after being able to prove they were good parents.

How do I get bootlegs? A common way for people to start is to buy a bootleg and then trade with it on the internet, or find someone on the internet who is willing to sell copies. Here is a small 'advertisement' that was mailed to me from someone (who wishes to remain anonymous) about KTS records.

NIRVANA rare live recordings direct from the CD Music Company in Italy, (Kiss The Stone)

Title year reference ----------------------------------------- Blind Pig 1990 CM 001 Seventh Heaven 1991 KTS 041 Dumb 1992 KTS 133 All Accoustically 1993 KTS 253 ROMA 1994 KTS 284 The Eternal Legacy 1994 KTS 336

USA, Japan and Australia Prices ------------------------------------------------ The price is 22.00 US $ for each disc, Postage is as follows, 1 disc $4.50 Each additional disc $2.00 ------------------------------------------------

Europe prices, ------------------------------------------------ The price is 25000 Lire/12 pounds/30 DM Postage is as follows, 1 disc 5500 lire/2.30 pounds/6 DM Each additional disc 2000 lire/1 pound/2.5 DM Europeans may pay in Lire with a Eurocheque ------------------------------------------------

You can pay with an International money order or with the following cards, Visa, Eurocard, Mastercard, American Express, Diners - give the name, the card number and the expiry date. You cannot pay with a personal cheque and don't send cash.

If you pay with AMEX they always need to charge the credit card your billing address. Orders above 8 cd's must be paid with an International Money Order If you order more than 10 cd's you can have one free. Any complaints will be accepted after one month from the shipping date.

Send your order, giving the references and quantity of the discs to ------------------------------------------------------------------- CD Music Company SRL, Via Canaletto 18, 47046 Misano Adriatico, Forli, ITALY

(DISCLAIMER: I have no affiliation with KTS records and gain nothing if you buy from them. I'm just relaying information.)

What are the hidden songs? Endless, Nameless appears on some pressings of Nevermind. The song begins 10 minutes after Something in the Way ends. It wasn't included on the first printing (50,000).

Gallons of Rubbing Alcohol Flow Through The Strip appears on import versions of In Utero. It is 20 minutes after All Apologies.

Verse Chorus Verse appears on the end of the No Alternative compilation.

IV. Internet Nirvana Resources

Ftp: pub/music/artists/n/nirvana Contains: lyrics, guitar tab, pictures (.gif), discography

WWW: Contains: more lyrics, discography, other fun stuff, a large Picture gallery (.gif,.jpg). Contains: Lyrics, Concert Chronology, Bootleg Guide, and some other info. Also contains Hole stuff. Contains: Lyrics, FAQ, Pictures (soon) Contains: Bootleg FAQ, other misc. info MY WWW Site! Contains the most updated version fo the FAQ and all my other files.

Discography: Kept by

FAQ: Kept by me ( posted bimonthly to

Tour Date list: being compiled by Kurt Vogel ( mail him the parts of your bootleg lists with the show dates on them.

Mailing list: Run by Rick Scaia ( Address is to subscribe and to send messages.

Bootleg FAQ: Kept by

V. The Song List

The Almost Complete Nirvana song list Names in parenthesis indicate bootleg names of the songs. Cover songs are listed with the true authors in brackets An asterix immediately after the title indicates true title is not known. (KC) after the title means that it is a Kurt only tune (or a duet w/CL) (FM) denotes a song from the Fecal Matter demo

About a Girl Aero Zeppelin All Apologies (Mary) Aneurysm Bambi Slaughter (FM) Beans Been A Son Beeswax Big Cheese Big Long Now Blandest Blew Born In A Junkyard * Breed (Immodium) Buffy's Pregnant (FM) Come As You Are Clean Up Before She Comes (KC) Crisco Curmudgeon D - 7 {The Wipers} Dive Downer Do You Love Me? {Kiss} Dough, Ray and Me (KC) Drain You Drunk In Rio (KC) Dumb Endless, Nameless Even In His Youth Floyd The Barber Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle Frizzle (Frazzle) (KC) Gallons of Rubbing Alcohol Flow Through The Strip Hairspray Queen Heart-Shaped Box Help me I'm hungry * Here She Comes Now {Velvet Underground} I Hate Myself And Want To Die If You Must (Happy Hour) In Bloom In His Room (In His Hands)* It's Closing Soon (KC) Jesus Didn't Want Me For A Sunbeam {The Vaselines} Lake Of Fire {The Meat Puppets} Laminated Effect (FM) Lithium Lounge Act Love Buzz {Shocking Blue} Man Who Sold The World {David Bowie} Marigold Mexican Seafood Milk It Molly's Lips {The Vaselines} Money Will Roll Right In {Fang} Montage of Heck Mr. Moustache Mv (Moise Vagina) Negative Creep Oh Me {The Meat Puppets} Oh, The Guilt (It takes a time) On A Plain On The Mountain Opinion (KC) Paper Cuts Pen Cap Chew Pennyroyal Tea (Tired, Household Drugs) Plateau {The Meat Puppets} Polly Radio Friendly Unit Shifter Rape Me (Wreck Me) Return Of The Rat {The Wipers} Scentless Apprentice School Scoff Serve The Servants Sifting Sliver Smells Like Teen Spirit Spank Thru (Make it Big, Freedom of Choise) Spectre * Something In The Way Son of a Gun {The Vaselines} Stain Stay Away (Pay To Play) Swap Meet Talk To Me * Territorial Pissings Token Eastern Song tourette's (The Eagle has Landed) Turnaround {Devo} Where Did You Sleep Last Night {Leadbelly} Verse-Chorus-Verse (Another Rule, Everything and Nothing, Sappy) Very Ape You Got No Right (KC)

VI. Demo List This is a list of known studio sessions, or studio-style sessions Thanks to Sean Rohde on this one (

The Nirvana demo list

Fecal Matter demo 7 songs containing: Sound of Dentage / Bambi Slaughter / Laminated Effect / Downer (instrumental) plus 3 others

April '87 Evergreen College The Skid Row demo KAOS Radio show 10 songs containing: Love Buzz / Floyd the Barber / Downer / Mexican Seafood / Spank Thru / Hairspray Queen / plus 3 others

Reciprocal Studio Demo w/ Dale Crover Endino Produced Jan 23 1988 10 songs containing: Floyd the Barber / Paper Cuts / Downer / If You Must / Pen Cap Chew / Spank Thru / Beeswax / Mexican Seafood / Hairspray Queen / Aero Zeppelin / Big Long Now(?) (Sub Pop has this demo somewhere)

Four Song demo of "wierd, quirky songs" 1988 4 songs containing: Beans + 3 others (Sad, Seed, Cracker)?

Love Buzz single session June 11, 1988 Love Buzz / Big Cheese / Spank Thru / Blandest +2 others(?)

Bleach Recording Sessions December 24 & 29 1988 Blew / About A Girl / School / Negative Creep / Scoff / Swap Meet / Mr. Moustache / Sifting / Floyd The Barber(not used) / Paper Cuts (not used)

1989 Barnyard Demos Polly / Sappy / 'Spectre'

1989 Evergreen State College recording session Dive / Do You Love Me

Blew EP session Late Summer '89 Even In His Youth / Token Eastern Song / Polly / Been A Son / Stain

August 1989 Leadbelly covers session w/ Mark Lanegan Where Did You Sleep Last Night (Kurt: guitar) / Ain't it a shame (Kurt: vocals)

John Peel BBC Radio 1 session October 1989 Love Buzz / Polly / About A Girl / Spank Thru

January 11, 1990 Recording with Danny Peters Sliver

Laundry Room Recording for Communion Label 1990 Here She Comes Now

Smart Sessions April '90 Polly / Immodium (Breed) / Pay To Play / In Bloom / Dive / Broken Mirrors (Lithium) / Sappy

Kurt's Acoustic appearance on KAOS Opinion / ????? (don't know if others were played)

John Peel session October 1990 Turnaround / Son Of A Gun / Molly's Lips

Music Source Session Jan 1, 1991 Aneurysm / Even In His Youth

Nevermind recording sessions May - June 1991 Dumb / In Bloom / Territorial Pissings / Something In The Way / Stay Away / Smells Like Teen Spirit / On A Plain / Endless Nameless / Lithium / Drain You / Come As You Are / Lounge Act

Fall 1991 Peel Session Dumb / Drain You / Endless Nameless

Mark Goodier Radio 1 session Nov 13 1991 Been A Son / New Wave Polly / Aneurysm / Something In The Way

Holland Radio Session 11/26/91 Here She Comes Now (acoustic) / Where did you sleep last night? (acoustic) / Return of the Rat (?) / Crisco

Laundry Room session 1992 Curmdugeon / Oh, The Guilt / Return Of The Rat (?)

Laundry Room session 11/92 Kurt put down the guitar part for Burroughs 'The priest they called him'

Albini Sessions for In Utero March 1993 I Hate Myself And Want To Die / Moist Vagina / Marigold / Gallons of Rubbing Alcohol Flow Through the Strip / tourette's / Serve The Servants / Rape Me / All Apologies / Milk It / Heart-Shaped Box / Radio Friendly Unit Shifter / Very Ape / Pennyroyal Tea / Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle / Scentless Apprentice / Dumb

Laundry Room session Summer 1993 Verse-Chorus-Verse (remake of Sappy)

Seattle Session early '94 On The Mountain (rumored) / The Man Who Sold The World (rumored) + others???

VII. Stuff that really doesn't fit elsewhere.

Krist Novoselic's internet posts -

This is the first of his posts:

From: Krist Novoselic <[email address deleted]> Newsgroups: Date: 24 Sep 94 21:34 PDT Subject: Steve Tyler is cool.

Kurt respected Steven tyler and Aerosmith very much. He met Steven once and Steven laid a NA trip on him & Courtney and Mike Starr from Alice in Chains. Not preaching about NA , just relating about his trips with drugs and all. They would all have been good to listen to Mr. TR Tyler. Steve knew hiss shit and just wanted to relate to them. Youthful cynicism or what ever, we shall see.

this is the second post:

From [email address deleted] Wed Nov 9 18:12:43 EST 1994

Thank you all for the messages. I cannot answer n any of them. I am sorry. I don't have the time or the energy and frankly, I can't dwell on Nirvana. I can't spill my guts. It's too personal and again, I can't dwell on it. I guess I'm the little bass player who can't. Chugga, chugga, choo, choo. Wow that was a rush. I'm embarassed! There is too much pain. I'm over the daily "grief waves" but still go through feelings of confusion, anger, regrets, missing him and alot of times a feeling of beautiful loving feelings for my friend. Fuck this is enough. Next time I'll upload so my software can tell me when i am repeating words too often. It's late and I'm kinda tired. Nothing matters anymore anyway. The christians are going to baptise us before we're marched up to the wall. I'm talking about the mid term elections. When the Christian coalition comes a knocken, both house's are gonna have to heed. If that's the case, God help us all! (sic) True Christains want to emulate Jesus. You know, to be right on and not judge, be forgiving bring wine to weddings and have long hair and a beard. The suede denim secret police are gonna get me for that one, fer sure. Wow, by the way I've been rambling, you'd think that I was Courtney or some thing. I could never match that prose though, shre(Whoops) she should get her degree. So many people are gonna read this because Krist Novoselic wrote it but let me tell you this, I am a man of the proletariat! This is quite a boast comming from my tax bracket. Remember, socialism is an ethic not an ideology! I write this under the gase of an actual portrait, not a print, of Lenin. I scored this at the Pike Place Market and it came from some soviet beu bureau in Vladivostok. Newt Gingrich has his St Paul I have no one. You don't think that I'm some le bolshevik. Who needs Lenin when you have Mao? I'm gonna start a shining path sattelite up here in the northwest. I want a Satellite with a 383 and a four speed pistol grip shifter. Super Bee. Coronet. Charger. The whole of this silly rant is that I really don't have much to say, right now. Sure if I were to be in the seat next to you on a plane and we struck up a conversation, we'd pass the time by discussing the topics of the day or what ever. I cannot answe5r Nirvana questions. The mail I got was sweet and I apreaciate it by hey, as the Flav says, "Can't do nothing for you man!" To be truthful, I'll read your messages but won't reply. Who am I any way. I'm the guy next in line at Safeway. I'm the person in the left lane of traffic who gets uptight when people won't get over. I was in an e imencly popular rock band. Did I spell immense right? What ever. I understand the power of music so i understand you all. Sometimes I can't understand jack asses who talk shit about dear old Kurt but as a true democrat,NO party affiliation, I'll respect the fact that they have a right to thier opinion, no matter how shallow and misinformed it is. We need more respect in this world. Remember that the music biz and the rock press have a symbiotic relationship. Remember that Nirvana was about music, first and foremost. Remeber Leon Trotsky. THe Fugs, "Dirty Old Man". Remember not to e mail me. I will not answer. You are all good. good bye and god blesss!

The murder theory:

This is a 'statement' made by Courtney Love's PI regarding Kurt's death:

Titled - "The Killing of Kurt Cobain"

Solving a mystery isn't always an investigator's most difficult job, breaking down barriers of communication between a private investigator and the police detectives can often be next to impossible. On Sunday, Aril 3, 1994, I was hired by Courtney Love to try to locate her husband, Kurt Cobain. Until now, I have refused to release any information regarding my investigation with the exception of a few minor details given to the Seattle Times for a story in the May 11, 1994 issue.

In the interest of saving space, I am not going to rehash those events here except to say that since the discovery of Kurt's body on April 8th, my investigation has continued into the mysteries surrounding the event of his death. During the initial phase of this investigation, mistakes were made by the police and by myself. That's going to happen in any complex case.

Attempts may be made to discredit me or worked out to distract from what I have to say. If that tactic is attempted by anyone directly involved in this case, a word to the wise, I may take some nicks and scrapes here and there but no matter how much money, power or influence you think you have, you will be shooting bee-bees (sp?) at a canon.

Those working near me during these past eight months are aware of how careful I have been while discussing those theories about specific details and events. I may have had strong beliefs about some of my perceptions but, I always qualify those beliefs with "I can't say for sure" or "I think" or "it seems" or "I'm pretty sure". So when I now say I know Kurt Cobain was murdered and I say it can be proven, I want you to realize the significance of those statements. I have walked through a door that only swings in one direction. If I try to get out, I'm stuck. There is no way out and you won't find me looking for one.

Sure, Kurt talked about his thoughts of suicide in years past. Yes, it may have seemed to some that he might even do it one day. But many in the media perceive something not quite right here and few were in a position to know exactly what it was. I have been in a position to know, a very good position. Now I am going to share the answers to many of your troubling questions. Here is what I am going to tell you right now: Kurt Cobain wanted out. He wanted out of performing on tour, he wanted out of his band, he wanted out of the business that was pressuring him to produce his music instead of simply playing. But Kurt Cobain did not want out of life.

Regarless of what the coroner's report might say, Kurt Cobain died Sunday evening, April 3rd or early Monday morning, April 4th. Although he may have been seen at the local park by the lake on Sunday, April 3rd, anyone claiming to have seen him after 7:30 AM on Monday morning is either lying or they don't really exist. Most information about these "witnesses" have been deliberately planted in the media. At least two people knew Kurt was dead before I was sent to Seattle to search for him on Wednesday, April 6th.

Contrary to the police reports, the note found at the scene was not a suicide note. It was not written to Courtney and Frances. It was a long, detailed letter written to Kurt's fans with a very short footnote to Frances and Courtney. The letter explained his decision to quit touring and stop performing with his band. Kurt was leaving Seattle to go East and stay with friends. He wanted to be left alone. He didn't want anyone to follow including his wife. That is what this letter is all about. That is ALL this letter is about. The body of the letter was written by Kurt with the exception of the following words added at the bottom, "Which will be so much happier without me. I love you, I love you". Those words were added by someone else without Kurt's knowledge. I have more to say about this letter at another time.

In the near future, I am going to be furnishing the press with additional details regarding the killing of Cobain. For the time being, all information will be in the written form. I am not going to answer questions until after I have had a chance to deliver most of my story in proper sequence. Following are some of the topics I am going to cover: the missing credit card, the surveillance in Seattle, my search of the Cobain house, my meetings with the police, the police reports, planted stories and media manipulation, sources inside and out, getting to know Kurt, Cobain's killer identified, the proof and what about Kristen Pfaff.

It has been a long and tedious investigation. It has also been a delicate balancing act, staying in a place where I could continue gathering information while at the same time maintaining integrity with regard to one of my clients. More will be said about that also at another time.

Keep your eyes, ears and minds open. This is not going to float around as just another speculative conspiracy theory. The case is going to be proven and those involved will be prosecuted.

Was Kurt Cobain suicidal? Maybe, but many who were close to him, who really knew him, say not really. Would Kurt Cobain have committed suicide sooner or later? Possibly, but many who knew him say not in this way, not without more concern for his daughter, Frances. Did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? NO. There was no suicide. This was no suicide.

*There is a 15 page report available from Tom Grant. It is available on my web site.

Mini book reviews: This is a list of the books out there dealing with Nirvana that I've read, and my opinion on them.

Come As You Are: The Story of Nirvana - by Michael Azerrad -A necessity. If you like Nirvana and don't have this book, go out and buy it. Referred to on as "CAYA".

Route 666: On the Road to Nirvana - by Gina Arnold -I skimmed this book in the bookstore one day, and it only appeared to briefly mention the band. The main focus is on the music scene.

Never Fade Away: The Kurt Cobain Story - by Dave Thompson -This book reads like a tabloid newspaper does. Filled with inaccuracies.

Cobain - The Editors of Rolling Stone -This is a great collection of articles and interviews about Nirvana from the archives of Rolling Stone. The pictures are great and so are the articles.

Kurt Cobain's complete suicide note:

DISCLAIMER: This is the note as it appeared in NME. The original note is in the hands of the Seattle Police Department. Two copies were made, one given to the Medical Examiner, the second to Courtney Love. It was Courtney's copy that showed up in NME. It was a difficult decision for me to put this in here, but it is one of the most frequently asked questions. Thanks to Liz Ellison on this one!

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.

For example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd, which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun.

Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man! Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody, baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away. Peace, Love, Empathy. Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar. Please keep going Courtney, for Frances. For her life, which will be so much happier without me.


note on the note: In the book 'Cobain' they mention that Boddah was one of Kurt's imaginary friends as a child.

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